


From Earth to the Moons of Tazoho

by Office



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Friendship, Fun, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Office/pseuds/Office
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something odd about Loki's new pen-pal. What was that internet phrase 'the cake is a lie' not this time! As the gang will find out, not everything on the internet is make believe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Earth to the Moons of Tazoho

Loki typed furiously on his desktop computer. Lately he had been obsessed with talking to his new pen-pal he met online. Ever since Tony recommended the website, Loki had been online day in and day out. He and his new pen-pal surprisingly had a lot in common. They were both from planets other than Earth and both of them were completely annoyed with their families. Though Loki made his peace with Thor and Odin, they still had their moments. Loki would talk about his new pen-pal to the rest of the Avengers, but they always gave him the impression that they didn't believe him. Loki was aware that people lie on the internet but his pen-pal had a lot of universal knowledge and they would talk for hours about planets they had been to and wanted to visit. Right now his pen-pal was stuck on Earth, though he didn't seem to mind. He worked at a costume shop as a window display. He would tell Loki how he would scary customers when he made sudden movements or talked. Loki would laugh and the two would exchange different prank stories with one another. Loki truly thought he had found a true friend.

Tony had been crazy frustrated with all the events following the Mandarin and Killian. Pepper had been down his throat about ever little thing, not to mention she was pregnant. Not to mention also Thor and his brother had come back out of the blue. Thor said he made his peace with Loki after they went on a long journey to fight some dark elves or something. Tony didn't care, he just wanted his head to stop spinning. He thought after he got his reactor out, life would be smooth sailing. He couldn't be further from the truth.

Everyone was gathered in the kitchen when Tony came downstairs. Loki was going on about his pen-pal to Thor, who believed every word. Tony surveyed the group, Natasha looked like she was being driven to the edge with Loki's constant jabbering. Clint looked half asleep and if Tony was correct the archer was actually asleep right now. Poor Clint, he was leaning on his right wrist, eyes sort of shut sort of open. The archer had been busy with missions back to back, it was no surprise if he didn't get enough sleep. Bruce actually looked interested in the conversation, Steve looked confused. The playboy walked in the kitchen proudly strutting his wrinkled pajamas and bed head.

"Morning gang," Tony said so loudly that it woke Clint. He looked for the scotch, but alcohol was strictly banned from the house after he got so wasted that he nearly fell off the balcony of his mansion.

"Good morning Tony!" Thor said way too loud, this time Clint jolted awake, causing Nat to give him a funny look "Loki was just telling me about his online friend."

Tony looked up "Right," he poured himself a tall glass of orange juice. Maybe if he wished hard enough he could drink enough juice to get wasted, impossible, but Tony could always dream. He walked from the kitchen table to the dining table to join his friends.

"Yes," Loki smiled ear to ear "As I was telling Thor my internet pen-pal D-140 has also traveled through the void of space. He told me that his comrades had been trapped for a very long time. He barely escaped." Loki said seriously.

Tony sighed, Clint lolled back to sleep. "Loki, you do know people lie on those things."

Loki scoffed "D-140 is not a lair,"

Tony took another sip "Right"

Peace for Tony didn't last long, because a certain pissed off Pepper Pots was on her way to the kitchen. As if Tony could sense his impending doom, he slammed down his glass of orange juice. Which startled Clint awake again, the archer looked around before falling back to sleep at a weird angle and falling out of his chair. Tony couldn't be bothered with helping his friend up, Natasha was already on the floor anyways. Steve was getting up to help Clint, blocking Tony's exit. There was only one escape route now, over the table. Tony looked nervously across the table, Loki and the table were the only things standing in his way. His eyes darted to the hallway, he could hear Pepper's heels clicking on the polished stone floor. It was now or never. "Watch Out!" Tony piggy backed over the table. Loki reached out his hand to stop him, but before Tony could even reach the edge of the table his hand landed in Loki's plate and he slipped right off the table. The group looked at him in silence.

"ANTHONY STARK!" Pepper roared

"Fuck" Tony moaned from his position face down on the floor.

* * *

Loki was up late watching Baggage on GSN. He thought it was a very interesting way to go about courtship. He wondered what the audience would thing if he was a bachelor on the show. This episode there was a tall blonde woman and fighting for her love and affection were three rather unattractive looking gentlemen. Loki laughed when one of the contestants baggage was that he slept sucking his thumb. Loki turned down the TV when he thought he heard his computer beep. He lifted up his monitor and sure enough his good old pal D-140 was online.

PrinceLokiofAsgard: Good even D =)

D-140: GOOD EVENING TO YOU TO, PRINCELOKIOFASGARD

PrinceLokiofAsgard: Tell me friend, how has your day been?

D-140: GOOD DID YOUR DAY LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS

PrinceLokiofAsgard: Yes it did thank you...however my friends do not believe me when I tell them about you...

D-140: WHY NOT

PrinceLokiofAsgard: I have no clue, perhaps we should meet up and prove them wrong =)

D-140: I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTAND ME I AM NOT HUMAN

PrinceLokiofAsgard: It's alright D, my brother and I are not human and most of them are quite odd anyways. They will accept you.

D-140: ARE YOU SURE

PrinceLokiofAsgard: Aye =)

Loki finally shut down his computer a little after three in the morning. His plan was to get the group in some public place so they could meet D-140. Loki just needed to get everyone together, D-140's job allowed him to take as much time off as needed. However that was something to focus on in the morning. Loki turned out his light and went to bed.

The whole house was woken up by Tony and Pepper's fighting. She was going on about how they never had any free time anymore and Tony argued back that they sent plenty of time together. By now everyone was use to the couple's arguments, which usually lasted a few days then died down and started right back up again. Tony had actually convinced Pepper to take off her last three months of her pregnancy, but all this free time was driving her crazy. It was the summer she wanted to go to the beach, make love in the sand as the sun set, have a martini or two. Most of all she wanted to spent as much time as she could with Tony.

"Tony! Oh my gosh you're driving me crazy!" She shouted from the bathroom, she had snuck out and bought herself a bikini, pregnant or not she was getting into somebody's water, with or with out Tony.

Tony grabbed his aching head "Pep, all I'm saying-" he stopped mid sentence when his saw his wife in her tight black bikini "I was just saying, how hot you look right now." he walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist. "And did I mention you look hot?" he kissed her.

She smiled, goal achieved she finally had Tony in her arms "Yes you did."

"Just making sure." he kissed her again, a little vacation wouldn't hurt, he let the thought drift through his mind.

* * *

The mansion had been at peace for going on a week now. No Tony/Pepper arguments, no day long stories about Loki's pen-pal or Thor's sudden new fascination with everyday household items. Director Fury could actually kick back his legs and relax. His short nap was interrupted by his phone ringing. The director sighed and answered with his blue tooth.

"Talk to me."

_"Yo Fury my main man," Tony said a little too causally._

"Spill it Stark,"

_"I was thinking-"_

"No, you were interrupting me while I was doing some very important work."

_"Was napping considered work now? I didn't get the memo, gotta get on JARVIS about this, he's slipping up-"_

Fury rolled his eyes "What do you want Stark?"

_"Well, as I was saying I was thinking when could have a beach-"_

"No, SHIELD isn't paying for one of your extravagant vacations Stark."

_"Not for me, for the team."_

"You can pay for it, but I'm spending tax dollars on little field trips."

_" Aww, Nick I'm hurt and we were going to invite you too" Tony could feel the director roll his eye over the phone "But nah, it's a free trip. Tab's on me, lets see, private beach on a private island sound good?"_

Fury was actually rolling his eye now, but if the tab was on him "If anything comes up, yawl get your butt right back here."

 _"Thanks dad of and tell_ _Maria_ _and Phil they're invited too. See ya there."_

Fury hung up the phone and shook his head, he got the invite for this Saturday seconds later. The rest of the team was really excited about their beach trip too. There was going to be an open bar, much to Tony's disappointment. He was still on alcohol probation, but Clint and Natasha literally planned their vacation around turning it up to ten. Tony had planned on setting up a few tents so they could spend the night at the beach. Thor was excited about the trip as well since Tony had agreed to fly Jane and Darcy up as well. Loki was over joyed, this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce his new pen-pal. Tony said everyone was allowed a plus-one, a plus-two in Thor's case. Everything had fallen into place without Loki having to lift a finger.

* * *

Tony had chosen the perfect island off the cost of Florida. The weather was nice, mid 90s and the humidity was low so it wasn't too hot. Tony was lucky the island was available at such short notice.

"Turn it up!" Clint waltzed over to Natasha, with two glasses of bourbon in his hands. The archer was wearing black and purple checkered swim trunks. Natasha sported a super sexy one piece.

The beach party was now underway. Everyone had showed up and was having a good time. Coulson was on the grill even though Tony said he would hire a cook. Bruce was sleeping like a baby with a book on his head on the beach. Thor, Darcy, and Jane were in the shallow part of the water playing. It was perfect. Tony walked over with two glasses of freshly made virgin martinis for him and Pepper. She looked stunning in her bikini, pretty much the only things that got big on her body were her stomach and her breast, which Tony never passed up an opportunity to cuddle with. A little ways down the beach Loki was in the changing tent with his new pen-pal, who had arrived at the location a few days earlier. He sort of flew there and he thought the best option would be to show up early. He didn't want startle anyone.

He looked exactly like his profile picture. He had a golden metal body with round metal dots around the base of his lower body. He had an arm that looked like a plunger and another arm that looked like a long light bulb/mixer thing. In the middle of his head he had a longer arm with a lease at the end of it and two more light bulb looking things on each side of his head.

"I WILL LOOK FOOLISH." D-140 responded

Loki wasn't taken back or surprised at all at his friend's appearance. He had believe him and he didn't care if didn't look human. "Nonsense D-140, just introduce yourself." Loki wasn't sure if D-140 needed to wear a swim suit as well, so he bought him a large blue Hawaii dress shirt with little beach chairs and beach umbrellas on it. Loki, who wasn't use to the idea of wearing garments in the water, bought himself a tight dark green pair of board shorts and wore a light green dress shirt, which he unbuttoned.

Back on the other side of the beach, Steve had pulled a small team together to play a few rounds of beach valley ball. It was four on four, girls vs guys. Thor, Clint, Steve, and Tony were on one side and Darcy, Jane, Natasha, and Agent Maria Hill on the other. Pepper cheered from the side lines. Jane served the ball, which Clint hit back with his head. Clint may have been a little drunk, but not drunk enough to throw a game. Natasha returned the shot with enough power that the ball slipped right through Steve's hands and bounced off his chest. Thor was about to return the ball when he saw Loki and a weird metal object a few yards away. Thor just stood there as the ball ricocheted off his head.

"Thor," Tony shouted to his buddy, but when he finally saw what the blonde was staring at he held his tongue.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned around. Looks like Loki was telling the truth. Director Fury nearly dropped his drink when the two stopped a few feet away from the net.

The metal creature spoke first "IT IS MY PLEASURE TO MEET YOU I AM DALEK-140" he said in a high pitched voice, that sounded like an evil Macintosh.

Fury's jaw dropped "Oh hell to the mother-fucka no. I'm tired of these motherfucking aliens, landed on my motherfucking planet!"

Tony stepped in "Wo wo wo, calm down Samuel L Jackson."

Fury looked over at Tony "Who?" he did not have the patients for this "Loki explain!" the Director shouted.

Loki felt rather insulted at their cold welcome, but he was sure they were all just a little on edge. As of late the aliens visiting this planet had been far from friendly "Director Fury, everyone, this is Dalek-140, but you may call him D for short."

"GOOD EVENING" D responded in his robot voice, moving his head back and forth.

Fury looked like he was done. The team was all here, if something went wrong it was Tony's problem. Fury nodded to the group "If you need me, I'll be at the bar."

Tony watched the director walk off, he was shocked that his pen-pal came dressed in that ridiculous custom. "So, how's the weather D."

D looked at him unsure how to answer. "THE WEATHER IS CURRENTLY 95 DEGREES FERINHEIGHT"

"Tony be nice," Pepper stood up "Dalek-140, my name's Pepper Pots and it's very nice to meet you."

Pepper's soft welcome lightened the mood of the rest of the group, until the sound of a strange engine was heard in the background.

"DOCTOR" D-140 turned around.

Loki had heard about the great Doctor from their many conversations and while he understood why he fought back, he wasn't going to let his new friend get hurt or killed today. Loki turned around facing the tree line, preparing himself for the impending enemy. Everyone tensed for a moment, when a oddly dressed man and a woman in a bikini came jogging towards them. The slender man in a bowtie stopped several feet away.

"Dalek." The man growled.

"DOCTOR"

Tony looked back a Fury "Ah Nick-"

But the Director only raised his glass. "You got the tab, remember."

Crap, Tony said to himself, looks like we were on our own. The rest of the team gathered round. Coulson herded Jane, Darcy, and Pepper away to the safety of the tents. It was suddenly very tense as each side stared at one another. Loki stood in front of his friend, while the Doctor pointed his sonic screw driver at the Dalek.

"Hi D!" shouted the woman in the bikini standing next to the doctor.

Everyone stared at her for a moment.

"CLARA" D focused his eye lens in and out.

"In the flesh," she twirled around in her white and red watermelon bikini.

The Doctor pulled her away "You know a Dalek?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I guess, he worked at a custom shop in the mall of American. I studied aboard."

The Doctor stared at her then back at the group "Clara, that thing is a Dalek."

Clara raised her eyebrow "That thing is called D and he's friendly," she walked over to Loki and greeted him and hugged D.

The Doctor had no other choice but to join him, he had seen stranger things. "It's a small universe." The Doctor straighten his bowtie.

As it turns out it was a small universe indeed and Clara and D were reunited, which put Loki at ease along with the rest of the group. Tony had really taken a liking to the Doctor and the rest of the group were eager to hear about his many adventures and tales. As the day wined down everyone got more and more comfortable with each other. The Doctor changed into a pair of plaid red, tan, and brown swim trunks and everyone went for a swim as the sun set.

"Come on D, the water is excellent!" Loki waved for him to enter the water. Loki walked backwards, but a sudden wave caused him to trip. "I'm okay!" he waved to D, bending down when he saw a small sand dollar.

Tony and Clint were in the water when Loki decided to moon everyone in the ocean. Clint who was way too drunk to be in the water lifted up his hands "10 out of 10"

"Eh, 7 out of 10" Tony added

"11 out of 10" Thor shouted from farther back.

Clint and Tony didn't know what was weirder, the fact that Thor knew what they were talking about from all the way over there or the fact that Thor was rating his brother's ass. They girls had all gotten drunk and now were having a mini party under one of the tents. Pepper was even dancing, even though she wasn't drunk. Tony and Clint were glad they were in the water, because Natasha was grinding up on Agent Hill and the new girl was giggling more than a fresh batch of homemade jello.

The Doctor, Loki and D spent the rest of their afternoon drinking. Turns out that Loki was the little boy he had visited centuries ago. Loki had wished upon a star and the Doctor answered the call. The two walked down memory lane while D talked about how he had made his way to Earth and what happened to the rest of the damaged Dalek fleet. It was a nice end to a very bazaar day. Though the Doctor was still wary of the Dalek, he had lived long enough to know that some Daleks were capable of changing and while he was never going to let D near his precious TARDIS he didn't mind the idea of having Loki travel with them.

"Say, Loki" the Doctor said with that twinkle in his eyes "Have you ever been to the moons of Tazaho?"

To be continued...

**Author's Note:**

> SN: Didn't plan on making this a two chapter, but there wasn't much Doctor in this! XD


End file.
